If it ain't Broke, Break it.

Last Saturday I went home after work, washed off the general smell I've come to know simply as food and yanked on the sweatpants. Why, you ask? Because as much fun as it is to squeeze myself into an outfit that's too tight, paint on a face, and then spend the next 3 hours of my life having mildly unattractive men try to engage me in some sort of horribly choreographed dance involving unwitty banter and bad puns, I thought I would take a night off.

Yes, I'm in my early 20s, but I was due to cash the 4 inch heels in for a night on the couch with a movie- old age is setting in and it's really getting to me. So the movie? The Girl with Dragon Tattoo. It's your typical story of old man hires young disreputed reporter to investigate the murder of his niece that occurred decades ago on a remote island in Sweden. Enter in the young goth chick with said tattoo, who seems to be a troubled young individual, with an unexplained ability to hack into computers. Overall a fabulous movie, with some awkwardness involving anal rapage- so, maybe a little heavy for date night. It was originally filmed in Swedish and you get the option to watch it dubbed in English or subtitled. Subtitles are better as they stay truer to the book.

So naturally, the movie was a complete hit around world, as was the novel it was adapted from, and therefore, what do we silly Americans decide to do? Why, make our own 'recorded in English' version, of course! Because why watch the original film in all it perfection when we could watch some sort of crap remake with this chick playing the very dangerous and dark Lisbeth Salander:

Doesn't strike me so much as the spiked
dog collar-wearing type.

As opposed to this lovely lady who should've (and did) play her to begin with:

Now set her up against a bunch of bums in a subway
with only a broken beer bottle to defend herself with
 and they're goin' down.

But hey. if there's a will, there's a way and seeing as the will in this case is millions of dollars, I'm sure come hell or high water, a way will be found. It's too bad that past remakes such as The Ring, The Grudge, The Eye or any other Japanese horror film couldn't serve as a cautionary tale of the future suckiness that, no doubt, will ensue. So come December of 2011 I will sit and wait, probably not with baited breath, to watch this all unfold, and if the report comes back positive from me, then damn, egg on my face.