I'm a Big Kid Now

Wellp, I did it. I finally managed to graduate college. Sure it took me 4 and a half years, but that was tooootally because of that uh, major change. The point is, I can now happily say goodbye college, hello unemployment. And what discipline would a studious young individual such as myself now go into you ask? Well,  I was an English major so that leaves me with three options basically- teaching, law school and living in my parents' basement. Guess we'll start with the latter and go from there.

Priorities

Lets talk about squash before I get on with this post. In England they have this thing called squash. Squash is super concentrated juice and you dilute it with water. 

                                                                 

I guess it's supposed to be like delicious poor man's juice? I dunno. I don't get it, its kind of like crystal light but with an intensified aftertaste of Splenda.

Anyway, I began this post-like so many others-not to talk about the many oddities of our wooden toothed counterparts, but to whinge as it were about the ridiculous obsession with the royal wedding- insert all sorts of puns involving the word 'royal' here. e.g. royal pain in my ass.

I shrugged it off and rolled my eyes as everyone else grumbled and groaned on about it for the past few months- can't say I cared enough to even get annoyed about the incessant news reports.

Well all that changed one friday morning as I rolled out bed, ran through the shower, and loaded up on 32 oz. of Dunkin Donuts. Shooting down the usual on ramp, a ghastly sight arose before me. Traffic. Not just any traffic- on-ramp traffic. This was just the precursor to 40 more minutes of sitting on the highway. Perhaps I should throw in that I was only traveling 1 exit down.

I frantically scanned through radio station after radio station, but alas real news was not to be had. Only a steady stream of usless reports on the nuptuals taking place thousands of miles away that would basically have no impact on my life in any capacity. Digging through the recesses of my memory- back about 15 minutes at least, I tried to think about what I had seen on the news in between bathing and caffinating. Oh wait- there you go. No news, just two bored looking Brits, sitting in the middle of a tree-filled church, listening to the Vienna boys choir, or whatever that was.

So rather than the traffic report that I normally get in morning that would have saved me from an hour and 15 minute commute, which normally takes all of about 12 minutes, I got to watch two rich people get married and then waste a hefty amount gas and time crawling down the highway and waiting for a 9 car pile-up to be cleaned up- priorities people! Priorities!