Insert the Mundane Details of My Life Here...

Ever log into facebook and feel like you've been accosted by your stalkerfeed? OK, maybe that's just me, but honestly, more often than not my stalkerfeed is a smattering of complaints, TMI and random arbitrary comments, pictures and "events attended." It's like saying, "Look everyone! I DO have a social life. See? Here's me smiling on the beach, and here's me at a frat party, and here I am in my super slutty Halloween costume!"

Every now and then people like to throw in a curve ball with some sage advice:

"When life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail."

A fun anecdote:

"soooo i accidentally ripped apart a hornets nest 2day and had 5 bees land on my face/head"

Or some sort of nonsensical statement:

"always knew that Voldemort could tap dance."

Most of the time however we are given daily routines no one cares about:

"gym...pool...teaching until 7 :)"
"interview at tennn. :)"
"sleeping. work 9-6."

(Ok, congrats you're a busy, important person. I'll be sure not to get in touch with you so as not to interrupt you're interview at tennn.)

The personal details of a person's life I have no interest whatsoever of knowing:

"so grandma was in a car accident and now we have to talk her into giving up her license and moving into ALF. this should be fun."

(I'm sorry, shouldn't this stay in the family? Facebook is not your personal therapist. I did not ask to know this. TMI!)


Or a dissertation from that chick you've known since you were 5 who's obsessed with horses:

"Well Boost being out of shape and not running barrels in over a year and me never looking at a barrel while on him today... He hauls ass!!!!! he can move his behind while he left me at the second barrel... so proud of me baby. AND ROB LOPED ALL HIS PATTERNS.. The whole patterns even poles"

(You might try interaction with a human every now and then)

So really, the moral of the story is, if something you find to be momentous happens in your life and you think you'd like to put it on Facebook, don't!  Get a shrink, talk to your cat, eat your feelings, I don't care! Just don't post it on the internet.

Sex and the Sand Pit

So the last time I checked the title of the movie, it was called Sex and the City. Let it be noted that the City portion is an important part of this whole affair. So when you take that out of the equation you're left with three broads all on the verge (and one well into) menopause.

There isn't much to say about this movie because despite the fact that it was two and a half hours long, nothing happened. The characters are done, they've lived their lives, just let them be.

I guess a highlighted list of events would be this:

• Carrie and Big get into a dispute about whether or not to go out and have fun or sit at home and be bored, laying out the basic reason why people who are 20 years apart in age shouldn't be married
• Charlotte gets a braless nanny and waits until she's thousands of miles away from her husband and the nanny to freak out about the fact that her husband is thousands of miles away with a braless nanny
• Miranda hates her boss and quits her job
• Samantha spends most of her days taking hormone pills and applying creams in unsavory areas so that she can ward off menopause

One day, for some ridiculous reason, Samantha gets to take them all on a trip to the Middle East where:

• Miranda walks around Abu Dhabi spewing off annoying facts and mispronouncing words
• Even though all of Samantha's menopause drugs were siezed in customs, she conceeds to consume yams at an alarming rate along with continued attempts at screwing anything with a pulse
• Charlotte cries a lot blah blah blah
• And in a shocking twist of fate that's along the same premise of being sent on an all-inclusive trip to Abu Dabi, Carrie runs into Aiden and they share a kiss-awwww shucks. But what about Big you say? Well don't worry, apparently all it takes for him to get over it, is a few days of brooding and a black and white movie.

Anyway, the trip culminates with Samantha stripping down in front of the inhabitants of Abu Dhabi and throwing condoms everywhere. Rather than shooting her onsight and then dragging her carcass through the streets as they most likely would have (and probably should have) done in real life, we are instead sent on a rollicking adventure in which we follow our four middle aged protagonists running around in a spectacle reminicent of Road Runner trying to escape Wile E. Coyote.

If you have two and half hours of your life you're not going to miss, or a boyfriend you feel like torturing, then this is the movie for you.

My official rating? Bootleg at Best.

Strange Brew

Ever notice how people seem to love going to upscale restaurants so they can eat tiny portions of weird food and then pay too much for it? Well I have.

It's not that I have anything against different or nontraditional cooking, its just ridiculous when the only reason people exclaim about how much they love the food they're eating is because it's located in Cambridge and remotely related to Southeast Asia.

Take my latest experience with said dining places- Cambodian Cuisine.

I certainly have nothing against Cambodians in any capacity, I just haven't seen people flooding into Cambodia for the food. For example, in Cambodia, chicken vagina is considered to be something edible. I guess that's like a different kind of comfort food, right?

Anyway as soon as my friend called me up I knew I was in for some kind of offbeat culinary adventure. So off we went in rush hour traffic to the aforementioned restaurant. What I got was "Nataing." Their description? "Ground pork simmered in coconut milk with sliced garlic, crushed peanuts and chili pods; served with crispy jasmine rice." My description? A luke warm can of Ragoo meat sauce dumped on top of a rice cake that cost me 10 bucks and had me making a late night trip to a steakhouse.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with dabbling in something different. I like to dabble, I'm a dabbler, just not at $10 a pop.