Insert the Mundane Details of My Life Here...

Ever log into facebook and feel like you've been accosted by your stalkerfeed? OK, maybe that's just me, but honestly, more often than not my stalkerfeed is a smattering of complaints, TMI and random arbitrary comments, pictures and "events attended." It's like saying, "Look everyone! I DO have a social life. See? Here's me smiling on the beach, and here's me at a frat party, and here I am in my super slutty Halloween costume!"

Every now and then people like to throw in a curve ball with some sage advice:

"When life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail."

A fun anecdote:

"soooo i accidentally ripped apart a hornets nest 2day and had 5 bees land on my face/head"

Or some sort of nonsensical statement:

"always knew that Voldemort could tap dance."

Most of the time however we are given daily routines no one cares about:

"gym...pool...teaching until 7 :)"
"interview at tennn. :)"
"sleeping. work 9-6."

(Ok, congrats you're a busy, important person. I'll be sure not to get in touch with you so as not to interrupt you're interview at tennn.)

The personal details of a person's life I have no interest whatsoever of knowing:

"so grandma was in a car accident and now we have to talk her into giving up her license and moving into ALF. this should be fun."

(I'm sorry, shouldn't this stay in the family? Facebook is not your personal therapist. I did not ask to know this. TMI!)


Or a dissertation from that chick you've known since you were 5 who's obsessed with horses:

"Well Boost being out of shape and not running barrels in over a year and me never looking at a barrel while on him today... He hauls ass!!!!! he can move his behind while he left me at the second barrel... so proud of me baby. AND ROB LOPED ALL HIS PATTERNS.. The whole patterns even poles"

(You might try interaction with a human every now and then)

So really, the moral of the story is, if something you find to be momentous happens in your life and you think you'd like to put it on Facebook, don't!  Get a shrink, talk to your cat, eat your feelings, I don't care! Just don't post it on the internet.